Keep it Smelling Fresh
It was an interesting weekend.
All week I had been looking forward to a date that I had on Friday night in Coral Gables, FL.
Yep, I was gonna leave "the beach."
The guy looked and sounded good...professional, tall 6'3, handsome, and 54. In at least 2 of his profile pictures he had on a suit, and a pocket square. This makes my knees weak...I love a sharp dresser. But because of my 9 years dating experience after my 17 year marriage, I am always watching all signs to make sure that the guys that I date are actually what they say they are. Most, I've found, unfortunately, are not.
And then with that being said, as in all relationships...I just have to go with that knowledge of what they are, and decide if this is enough for me. Remember, I am looking for my last relationship. I don't want to waste anyone's time...nor mine...I don't feel like we have time to waste.
So, he wanted to meet me at Hillstones, in Coral Gables...nice. It sounded like we liked many of the same restaurants. My girlfriend, Lina, loves Hillstones...I have never gone there to meet anyone else, and it had been since last month (almost exactly 1 month) when I was there with her that I ended up leaving from there to go meet the Catfish in West Palm.
He was very handsome, and VERY nicely dressed. His name is Michael...sidenote: I always thought I'd marry a Michael. (the first time) He had been a hockey player, and looked like an athlete, also seemed to be smart, "international traveler," altho I did notice the mis-spelling of the word athletic on his profile page: "atheletic"...ok, so spelling is not his forte' maybe, but I really like good spellers! Maybe he is really good at math instead!
After 2 drinks at Hillstones, we walked to a smaller italian restaurant, where he kept saying that he knew the owner, who was not there, but I had a delicious scallop and shrimp dinner, and we had great conversation..a couple of sweet kisses. Then, something very strange happened...we went to 1 more side bar...shared a drink there, because we both were slowing down on the drinking. And he kept making reference to it being our "First date," and that he knew he had to get me home, but after all the drinks if he was going to take me home...he kept saying "I wish this wasn't our first date..."which I understood what he meant...he was a gentleman, and didn't expect any promiscuity from me.
Yes, it was our first date, and clearly we both knew that it is forbidden to start a relationship with a sleepover...still I felt really good about this guy...and he had been surprised to meet me he said, because I am "exactly" his type, and what he wants. Said he isn't a "dater"...he said he kind of thought I am a "professional dater," until I explained that I have very few 2nd dates, and less 3rd dates..."I really don't like dating...I just want to find 1 guy with similar goals and values"...for a long term relationship...told him I'd like to get married just 1 more time. He said that if he falls in love with me, he'd never been married before, after an 18 yr relationship(ended 2 years ago), where he had no kids, but lost custody of his golden retrievers and the house. Told him that if he hadn't asked me out, I would be in South Beach with my friends tonight doing the local thing...I really DON'T date unless I think someone looks promising.
Until out of no where..he said, "You are going to need to call an uber to take you home..." I was a little surprised, and disappointed, but figured he was right...we had a nice time, great first date, early ending, and no need to drag it out. He needed to get back to Boca, and I needed to get back to South Beach. So I wasted no time, but ordered myself a car...then he said "no wait...I'll take you home!!" But, thinking of my Lyft rating, and not wanting to chance that being lowered (I have been black-balled by uber since I contested charges, that I later found out were my daughter's.) At this point, Lyft is all I've got!! And although, I felt we had a great first date...it also felt like we got in a fight because I had ordered the car he told me to, and then I told him to go ahead and go...he didn't need to wait for me, and so he did! Stormed off across the street...alone...I waited for my car...alone, and subsequently found myself alone in bed at 10:30pm on a Friday night!!
Straaaange ending to a great 1st date that showed so much promise!! With that, I just thought to myself, "Yep!! This is what it is like dating. Why would anyone choose this life over a relationship with just 1 person?
So, I spared no time Saturday morning, text him, and telling him that I'd had a great time, and would love to see him again!!
He responded, happily, and said that we'd just had a misunderstanding, but that as he had hoped, I am definitely more of a Leo Astrological sign than the Cancer, I was born onto the cusp of, July 21st(he had even called his astrologer from Hillstone's after we'd met and hit it off...to get his input on me,. He said there are 3 sexually passionate signs, and 1 of them was Leo).
Anyway, he'd had a 60 mile bike-ride Saturday for charity, but would I like to come to Boca for dinner if he sends a car for me? He said he had 2 bedrooms, so I could also stay the night. Wow, this sounded great! An athlete, doing a charity event, AND he had offered to send the car for me, AND he was sounding like a complete gentleman, with no expectations!! So far, everything was aligning perfectly. All of our goals and values seemed to coincide...this is the hardest thing to find with dating at this time in my life.
So, I got some things done around South Beach. My daughter was doing "Model Volleyball" on the Ocean Drive beach, so I walked to that, got a picture with her, and then walked back to the Biscayne Bay side of South Beach for a pedicure, after cleaning my condo...just in case things went really well, and Sunday, we came back here together.
So, around 5:30 pm, he texted me that he was back, and wanted me to catch the car he'd send for me around 6:15pm, and he wanted to meet me at a favorite restaurant of his, called Frank and Dino's...kind of a staple I found out in Boca. Didn't look at all like what I am used to here in South Beach. Older joint, which looked like what you think of when someone refers to a "joint," complete with possible mob ties, he explained to me, pictures of Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra were everywhere...
I had understood it was a dinner date, but then he told me that he had already eaten, and he said it was unusual that he bought me dinner on the first date,("last night"), and if I wanted him to buy me dinner again, I would need to have some "skin in the game." It was 7:30pm...I had been in the car for over an hour...when did he think that I was going to have had time to eat dinner, and then if not for dinner...what was our date for anyway??? "skin in the game!?" I played stupid, like I didn't understand, but to me this sounded like a soft request for sex...or he wanted me to pay the bill?? This was not what I'd been expecting, but I kept it playful...ordered myself the fish dish the nice older lady bartender recommended. I ate 1/2, and he finished it.
Then, he wanted to go to another place, which looked to me like a bar inside a nice mall. But, before we did, he called his car around for me to get in. Now he kept referring to this "car," ever since we met like it was something special. When we first met, and he referred a couple times to this special car, like anyone would, I asked him what kind of car he had...( just wanting to make sure it wasn't a flat bed truck...I'm not expecting my soul-mate is going to be driving around in 1 of those as a primary vehicle)...he said that we weren't going to talk about that...kind of like his car was so special that he didn't want me dating him for only his car!
But then, with disbelief, I climbed into this special car that I had been hearing about since date #1..for the first time I laid eyes on it. It looked like a Mercedes from the outside, but once I climbed in, I noticed what seemed to be chipping paint or discoloration on the dash board, but what was overwhelming was the stench of 'old car.'
I just kept thinking, "This smells like an old car."
Now I don't know...there are people who LOVE old cars...I am not one of them. And with all of the cars out there that you can lease for so cheap now a days, I don't really see any reason for anyone to still be driving an old car, which he had kept referring to his "Mercedes mechanic," and all of the things going wrong with his Mercedes, and that he always had owned Mercedes.
Well, for absolutely no other reason, sight of this decaying, discolored car turned me quickly off.
I told him that I was ready to go to sleep, once we entered his apartment, and took advantage of the 2nd bedroom that he had kept offering me. The next morning, he said with dis-belief..."we didn't even make out when we got home last night!" That was really "strange" he said. Started talking about his car again, so I asked him what year IS that car...he said 2012. I still liked him....seemed like a terrific guy, good sense of humor, but I had just started seeing signs that maybe our values are not aligned, as I thought they had been.
He invited me to Starbucks for breakfast and coffee in Mizner Park, (1st pic in yellow dress), and then told me that he was going to go to the gym, and then hit HB's in Deerfield beach with some friends, and that I would need to call a Lyft to get a ride home because the car that brought me the day before quickly went from a $45 trip at 5pm to a $98 trip at 6:20pm...ok, I understood, and just wanted to get home ASAP...didn't question ordering the trip home myself...like he'd said, I needed to have some "skin" in the game.
And that morning, after it took him probably 15 minutes to help me latch the Aqua-Marine Gold medallion around my neck...he started calling me "Hollywood," whenever he referred to me. He looked very handsome himself, again, in jeans, nice shoes and form fitting sweater. But it had just become clear to I think both of us that this just wasn't what either of us were looking for. Although we both agreed...we liked each other, and we both had a great time.
When I got home around noon Sunday, I road with my daughter to the restaurant where she works to have lunch, on the way there I told her I needed to go back for my credit card, and she said not to worry because she could give me money, which then I found out that even though I was going to cash app her the money, immediately, that she wouldn't give me more than $50, because she didn't want me to spend more! So then I told her this quick story, and why my date in Boca did not workout. She was ashamed of me, and said that I cannot judge someone by their possessions.
So then, seated at the tiki bar outside, of Smith and Wollensky, I ordered my favorite lunch, Grilled Chicken with a side salad, and fresh squeezed lemons in my water, and I greeted some familiar faces next to me. (Mary and Greg) After, I'd been there awhile sipping my lemon water and eating my lunch, the bartender, Gyza, asked me "Why (am I) not drinking today, Trac?" I told him, that I had to be honest, I forgot my credit card, and my daughter would only give me $50, that I paid her back instantly, so I knew that after paying for my lunch, and tip...I didn't have enough money. Mary and Greg heard my response, laughed, and said that sounded just like one of THEIR 4 kids!! They both told Gyza to give me a drink on their tab, which caused us to all have a good laugh, and so then I told them about my weekend, and why I didn't have my cc...because I just got home, dropped my bags, and hopped on the "train" taking my daughter to work.
Told them about the great guy, but that as soon as I got into his fowl smelling car, the romance was over...and it was only magnified by the old smelling "rental property" that he was living in...which WAS on an inlet of water. However, I woke up disappointed, and realized that this was not my soul-mate! And they wholeheartedly understood and said they agreed...they have been married 30+ years, are both successful pharmacists, (Mary just sold her pharmacy to CVS), but that if anything would happen to either of them, they would not get in a relationship with ANYONE unless he/she can make their life BETTER. They both have the new Mercedes, they told me, and on was parked out front!
Wow. EXACTLY. This is exactly how I feel.
I would LOVE to have another long relationship.
Do I NEED it?
Do I NEED someone to be happy?
No.
Would I love to find someone with common goals, values, dreams??
YES!! OF COURSE I WOULD.
But I am not going to settle for ANYTHING less than what I want and know that I deserve.
I love myself enough to be patient for the right one for me.
Yep, I was gonna leave "the beach."
The guy looked and sounded good...professional, tall 6'3, handsome, and 54. In at least 2 of his profile pictures he had on a suit, and a pocket square. This makes my knees weak...I love a sharp dresser. But because of my 9 years dating experience after my 17 year marriage, I am always watching all signs to make sure that the guys that I date are actually what they say they are. Most, I've found, unfortunately, are not.
And then with that being said, as in all relationships...I just have to go with that knowledge of what they are, and decide if this is enough for me. Remember, I am looking for my last relationship. I don't want to waste anyone's time...nor mine...I don't feel like we have time to waste.
So, he wanted to meet me at Hillstones, in Coral Gables...nice. It sounded like we liked many of the same restaurants. My girlfriend, Lina, loves Hillstones...I have never gone there to meet anyone else, and it had been since last month (almost exactly 1 month) when I was there with her that I ended up leaving from there to go meet the Catfish in West Palm.
He was very handsome, and VERY nicely dressed. His name is Michael...sidenote: I always thought I'd marry a Michael. (the first time) He had been a hockey player, and looked like an athlete, also seemed to be smart, "international traveler," altho I did notice the mis-spelling of the word athletic on his profile page: "atheletic"...ok, so spelling is not his forte' maybe, but I really like good spellers! Maybe he is really good at math instead!
After 2 drinks at Hillstones, we walked to a smaller italian restaurant, where he kept saying that he knew the owner, who was not there, but I had a delicious scallop and shrimp dinner, and we had great conversation..a couple of sweet kisses. Then, something very strange happened...we went to 1 more side bar...shared a drink there, because we both were slowing down on the drinking. And he kept making reference to it being our "First date," and that he knew he had to get me home, but after all the drinks if he was going to take me home...he kept saying "I wish this wasn't our first date..."which I understood what he meant...he was a gentleman, and didn't expect any promiscuity from me.
Yes, it was our first date, and clearly we both knew that it is forbidden to start a relationship with a sleepover...still I felt really good about this guy...and he had been surprised to meet me he said, because I am "exactly" his type, and what he wants. Said he isn't a "dater"...he said he kind of thought I am a "professional dater," until I explained that I have very few 2nd dates, and less 3rd dates..."I really don't like dating...I just want to find 1 guy with similar goals and values"...for a long term relationship...told him I'd like to get married just 1 more time. He said that if he falls in love with me, he'd never been married before, after an 18 yr relationship(ended 2 years ago), where he had no kids, but lost custody of his golden retrievers and the house. Told him that if he hadn't asked me out, I would be in South Beach with my friends tonight doing the local thing...I really DON'T date unless I think someone looks promising.
Straaaange ending to a great 1st date that showed so much promise!! With that, I just thought to myself, "Yep!! This is what it is like dating. Why would anyone choose this life over a relationship with just 1 person?
So, I spared no time Saturday morning, text him, and telling him that I'd had a great time, and would love to see him again!!
He responded, happily, and said that we'd just had a misunderstanding, but that as he had hoped, I am definitely more of a Leo Astrological sign than the Cancer, I was born onto the cusp of, July 21st(he had even called his astrologer from Hillstone's after we'd met and hit it off...to get his input on me,. He said there are 3 sexually passionate signs, and 1 of them was Leo).
Anyway, he'd had a 60 mile bike-ride Saturday for charity, but would I like to come to Boca for dinner if he sends a car for me? He said he had 2 bedrooms, so I could also stay the night. Wow, this sounded great! An athlete, doing a charity event, AND he had offered to send the car for me, AND he was sounding like a complete gentleman, with no expectations!! So far, everything was aligning perfectly. All of our goals and values seemed to coincide...this is the hardest thing to find with dating at this time in my life.
So, I got some things done around South Beach. My daughter was doing "Model Volleyball" on the Ocean Drive beach, so I walked to that, got a picture with her, and then walked back to the Biscayne Bay side of South Beach for a pedicure, after cleaning my condo...just in case things went really well, and Sunday, we came back here together.
So, around 5:30 pm, he texted me that he was back, and wanted me to catch the car he'd send for me around 6:15pm, and he wanted to meet me at a favorite restaurant of his, called Frank and Dino's...kind of a staple I found out in Boca. Didn't look at all like what I am used to here in South Beach. Older joint, which looked like what you think of when someone refers to a "joint," complete with possible mob ties, he explained to me, pictures of Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra were everywhere...
I had understood it was a dinner date, but then he told me that he had already eaten, and he said it was unusual that he bought me dinner on the first date,("last night"), and if I wanted him to buy me dinner again, I would need to have some "skin in the game." It was 7:30pm...I had been in the car for over an hour...when did he think that I was going to have had time to eat dinner, and then if not for dinner...what was our date for anyway??? "skin in the game!?" I played stupid, like I didn't understand, but to me this sounded like a soft request for sex...or he wanted me to pay the bill?? This was not what I'd been expecting, but I kept it playful...ordered myself the fish dish the nice older lady bartender recommended. I ate 1/2, and he finished it.
Then, he wanted to go to another place, which looked to me like a bar inside a nice mall. But, before we did, he called his car around for me to get in. Now he kept referring to this "car," ever since we met like it was something special. When we first met, and he referred a couple times to this special car, like anyone would, I asked him what kind of car he had...( just wanting to make sure it wasn't a flat bed truck...I'm not expecting my soul-mate is going to be driving around in 1 of those as a primary vehicle)...he said that we weren't going to talk about that...kind of like his car was so special that he didn't want me dating him for only his car!
But then, with disbelief, I climbed into this special car that I had been hearing about since date #1..for the first time I laid eyes on it. It looked like a Mercedes from the outside, but once I climbed in, I noticed what seemed to be chipping paint or discoloration on the dash board, but what was overwhelming was the stench of 'old car.'
I just kept thinking, "This smells like an old car."
Now I don't know...there are people who LOVE old cars...I am not one of them. And with all of the cars out there that you can lease for so cheap now a days, I don't really see any reason for anyone to still be driving an old car, which he had kept referring to his "Mercedes mechanic," and all of the things going wrong with his Mercedes, and that he always had owned Mercedes.
Well, for absolutely no other reason, sight of this decaying, discolored car turned me quickly off.
I told him that I was ready to go to sleep, once we entered his apartment, and took advantage of the 2nd bedroom that he had kept offering me. The next morning, he said with dis-belief..."we didn't even make out when we got home last night!" That was really "strange" he said. Started talking about his car again, so I asked him what year IS that car...he said 2012. I still liked him....seemed like a terrific guy, good sense of humor, but I had just started seeing signs that maybe our values are not aligned, as I thought they had been.
He invited me to Starbucks for breakfast and coffee in Mizner Park, (1st pic in yellow dress), and then told me that he was going to go to the gym, and then hit HB's in Deerfield beach with some friends, and that I would need to call a Lyft to get a ride home because the car that brought me the day before quickly went from a $45 trip at 5pm to a $98 trip at 6:20pm...ok, I understood, and just wanted to get home ASAP...didn't question ordering the trip home myself...like he'd said, I needed to have some "skin" in the game.
And that morning, after it took him probably 15 minutes to help me latch the Aqua-Marine Gold medallion around my neck...he started calling me "Hollywood," whenever he referred to me. He looked very handsome himself, again, in jeans, nice shoes and form fitting sweater. But it had just become clear to I think both of us that this just wasn't what either of us were looking for. Although we both agreed...we liked each other, and we both had a great time.
When I got home around noon Sunday, I road with my daughter to the restaurant where she works to have lunch, on the way there I told her I needed to go back for my credit card, and she said not to worry because she could give me money, which then I found out that even though I was going to cash app her the money, immediately, that she wouldn't give me more than $50, because she didn't want me to spend more! So then I told her this quick story, and why my date in Boca did not workout. She was ashamed of me, and said that I cannot judge someone by their possessions.
So then, seated at the tiki bar outside, of Smith and Wollensky, I ordered my favorite lunch, Grilled Chicken with a side salad, and fresh squeezed lemons in my water, and I greeted some familiar faces next to me. (Mary and Greg) After, I'd been there awhile sipping my lemon water and eating my lunch, the bartender, Gyza, asked me "Why (am I) not drinking today, Trac?" I told him, that I had to be honest, I forgot my credit card, and my daughter would only give me $50, that I paid her back instantly, so I knew that after paying for my lunch, and tip...I didn't have enough money. Mary and Greg heard my response, laughed, and said that sounded just like one of THEIR 4 kids!! They both told Gyza to give me a drink on their tab, which caused us to all have a good laugh, and so then I told them about my weekend, and why I didn't have my cc...because I just got home, dropped my bags, and hopped on the "train" taking my daughter to work.
Told them about the great guy, but that as soon as I got into his fowl smelling car, the romance was over...and it was only magnified by the old smelling "rental property" that he was living in...which WAS on an inlet of water. However, I woke up disappointed, and realized that this was not my soul-mate! And they wholeheartedly understood and said they agreed...they have been married 30+ years, are both successful pharmacists, (Mary just sold her pharmacy to CVS), but that if anything would happen to either of them, they would not get in a relationship with ANYONE unless he/she can make their life BETTER. They both have the new Mercedes, they told me, and on was parked out front!
Wow. EXACTLY. This is exactly how I feel.
I would LOVE to have another long relationship.
Do I NEED it?
Do I NEED someone to be happy?
No.
Would I love to find someone with common goals, values, dreams??
YES!! OF COURSE I WOULD.
But I am not going to settle for ANYTHING less than what I want and know that I deserve.
I love myself enough to be patient for the right one for me.
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