Stood Up, but Still Standing!!
So, is this the new "thing"...standing me up!?
I hope not!!
Twice in 1 month doesn't feel very good tho, to be sure.
The first guy seemed to be more of a misunderstanding...even tho he stood me up TWICE himself, we dated a couple more times.
However, when I went over what happened with the 2nd guy in my head,
I just kept coming back to the same conclusion:
this is more about him than me.
The first guy who stood me up wasn't nearly as interesting as this guy: we'll call him "Sportguy."
We connected on a dating app. No matter what people say against this form of meeting people, it works for some, so those of us who are single, who want to be in a relationship, need to be on one unless we are around new people regularly...which I am not.
Ok, so once we connected, and decide that we wanted to meet, we exchanged phone numbers. Now, I have been single for 9 years, and meet a lot of people thru business and dating, so I run my dating life the same as my business life. I keep notes on every meeting with pictures of my encounters, so I will remember.
So, with his first text, up came his picture, where we first encountered each other, and notes. We met on a different dating app 4 years ago, so it may have been shortly after I moved to South Beach. I remember. He did not, and I told him what my notes said. Every time I read those notes, I laugh. It is just too funny to relay.
Anyway, though, I remembered that night we didn't have much time to talk nor meet each other because nature called him into the bathroom abruptly that night for whatever reason. I noted that he text me right after bailing out on our date, and asked me if we could have sex on the next date, to which I'm sure I said NO, so I guess that is where the relationship ended.
Well, I decided to give him another chance. From his height of 6'2' and his pictures on the app, he appeared very clean cut and handsome, and for his profession, it said only "Sports," with a bachelors degree, my age, (1 year younger) AND he lives in Miami Beach like me!! He said he was at Whole Foods down the road from my house when we first text!! "How have I never met this guy?" I was thinking.
So, he picked me up, and to my pleasant surprise, he appeared handsome, good shape, and we had good chemistry. I considered leaving his photo here for you to see, but the truth is, as always, except for the guy who left me with the $300 check, I don't have any idea what he is going thru. I don't want to draw any attention to him. This blog is about me, not him. It was really inconsiderate for him to cancel our date 15 minutes after he was supposed to pick me up...especially when I confirmed it 45 minutes before, because I had to return home to meet him, but I wish him well.
On the phone before we met, he wanted me to know that he lives with his son, so if things go really well, he wanted to make sure that we could come back to my place. He said he'd like to take me to the movies. I said that we could do that, but that really, I'd much rather do something outside in the evening before it is dark...like Happy Hour? I told him that I love Happy Hour...I told him that would be more my speed than sitting inside a dark theater before we even know each other...he agreed.
Sportsguy called me about an hour later just to say that he can't believe this, but he is really excited to see me tonight. He feels like this is going to be really special between us. He wanted me to confirm for him that I feel the really great chemistry between us. I told him, "yeah, it seems like it, but I won't know until we meet." It kinda seemed like he wanted me to confirm that he was gonna get laid tonight! Still, I put those feelings aside. I had been planning on this all day, and so I was going to give him another shot.
So, anyway, this is our date #2 (with 4 years spanning in between), but trying it again. Sportsguy said he was running late due to a conference call and asked for 15 more minutes to pick me up. Then he called me and said that I wouldn't believe this, but he had no HOT WATER. (I was thinking does he want me to invite him over to take a shower at my house???) I wasn't sure. But, it started sounding like it...I confirmed that he HAD water...it was just cold. I said just hop in quickly rinse off and hop out. He said, "But, I wanted to get really clean for you..." I said, "Look! You are a man!! Just get in and quickly take a shower, so you can come over here and get me."
Then, remembering that our 1st date, 4 years ago, he had been an HOUR late, I called and confirmed that he was coming...he said YES & he would've only done that for me...(take a cold shower.)
Sportsguy started right out touching me...my leg, my hands, which felt right, because we had such good chemistry. It really didn't feel like a new meeting, and he kept calling my attention to that...noted. Sportsguy kept saying how happy he was, and I was equally happy because I almost cancelled, as I thought I recollected a guy whom I'd met at Monty's, who resembles this guy, that I thought must be him, but didn't remember him being 6'2", with whom I'd had NO connection.
We almost went to Monty's, in fact, we were headed that way, but I told him that if we go there, there is a good chance that I will have a lot of friends there, which is fine, if he wants, but I'd kind of like to go somewhere else besides Monty's or Smith and Wollensky, where I will know people, and I can go when I'm alone...told him I also like the Bar at Prime 112, and won't probably know many more people there than the bartenders, but he said he was just there last night...again I was thinking: "How did I never meet this guy if he frequents Prime 112!?) Sportguy said he agreed then, because he knew I "wouldn't feel like kissing him if I knew a lot of people there." We did have good chemistry, so I agreed!!
We went somewhere where neither of us would know anyone...Espanola Way.
He parallel parked his nice newer BMW (I really don't know cars, but I recognize BMW, clean, & newer) As we walked down past the restaurants along the walking street, I told him of the last time I really spent any time there on New Year's Eve 2019 (see prior blog for that story!) I also noticed that he had the same model of Rolex watch in Man-size (bigger) that I also wear.
We found a restaurant that wasn't already full of people and he chose a table far away, out in front of the restaurant and on the walkable street, and asked if I'd like to sit beside him at the table. I said, "Yes! That is how I usually like to sit too...NEXT to my date...if I am INTO him. We talked and found we had more in common, and we were both born on the 21st day of the month...me in July, and him in August!! He is the oldest of 4 boys, and I am the oldest of 6 kids.
I told him about a book that I have at home about birth-days, which is surprisingly accurate.
We each had a glass of wine, and he ordered some cheese to share! Perfect start! Then, he confessed that he can't drink very much...MAYBE just one more glass, and then he'd like to just go back to my home and relax. Hmmmm....back to him possibly getting laid tonight, I noticed. I didn't want to mislead him, but the more this topic was coming up, the more he was repelling me...I said, that is great, but can we just go to another one of these restaurants that line the street to have another drink. I told him that it was still light out, and that I wasn't ready to go home yet, and I love to experience different locations when I go out.
It always reminds me of my first date with my ex-husband. He took me one place for appetizers, another for dinner, and another for dessert...well, it worked...I married him 9 months later at the age of 23.
He kept giving me little kisses, but it was starting to get a little annoying at this point. Here I was trying to get to know this guy, and he clearly had only one thing on his mind. We got up after our glass of wine, and he asked if I wanted to pack up the leftover cheese, and at first I said no, but then I remembered my empty refrigerator, and thought any food when I get up in the middle of the night is good food, but he agreed and said, "yeah, right! ... then when we get back to your place, if we get hungry then we can have something to eat." I think he even said something like "if WE get up in the middle of the night HUNGRY"...UGH, he clearly was ready to just end our date now, and take me home and ravish me.
Sportsguy was pouring it on strong: How we were a perfect match...he had been waiting so long to meet me...the "chemistry" between us was SO UNBELIEVABLE...so much that it was starting to sound fake, and I found myself starting to look for things about him that I DIDN'T LIKE!!
I noticed the way his untamed hair just kept flopping around. Sportsguy kept having to wipe it outa his eyes. (like a girl) I noticed when he got outa the car to open my door, when he first picked me up that his jeans were falling down. Now, I don't like this look when kids wear it. How is it going to look for me walking around with a "boyfriend" who can't keep up his jeans nor keep his hair outa his face? I did like his shoes. They looked like designer-somethings, but now I was wondering if they were a knock-off brand. I started looking at this guy like he was just a big mess....possibly.
Sportsguy played basketball throughout college, and now represented athletes, he said. I asked how many he represented. He didn't answer and instead said that he has less clients now, because he is more focused on quality over quantity...so now I am wondering if he has no money...maybe that is why we are eating and drinking so light. "How does a man who represents athletes get new clients?" I was wondering...Does he have just one client? How much would one client pay?? He also kept telling me that if his phone rings, it may be a client, so he will need to answer.
Walking to the 2nd restaurant, he walked past the final restaurant to the end of the street, and started walking in a dark unpopulated area...now I was wondering if he was going to attack me...what did he want from me? I asked him to return to Espanola Way, and he kept trying to lead me away. At one point gave me a big kiss on the lips, so I kissed back(quickly), so he could see how I kiss, but then I was like...let's get back to Espanola Way!! Then he started acting like he was going to walk back to the car, which I knew where he was going to want to go if we left.
Finally, he agreed to return to the closest restaurant to us, which I recommended. We went in and he ordered himself an Espresso Martini, which I told him is my drink of choice on the weekend first drink of the day ("you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning!" frequent South Beach quote) I hadn't had dinner, so I was still hungry...he said he wasn't, but told me to order whatever I wanted & then we shared a calamari appetizer.
After our one drink there and calamari app, he paid the check and said he was ready to get back to my place to watch a movie or something. But everything he said sounded like he was planning on the whole night together...including that he is very generous with women in the sack. (I've heard that before, and I'm not buying that one either!)
So on the short drive home, I was thinking: "what do I do??" I was remembering what my friend had warned me, "he just wants to get you in the sack, and then he will forget about you, and move on to the next one." Honestly, at this point, I wasn't even sure I was still attracted to him. He was going so over-board on telling me about how perfect and right I was for him that I was feeling like it was all just a ploy to get sex. I had stopped believing him.
But, what if I was wrong, I kept thinking. Maybe he is just really vocal and honest???
As we were pulling into the drive-way in front of my building, I told him that even tho it was just after 9pm, I was very tired, and didn't feel it would be right to have him up to my condo. Sportsguy started begging, promised that he would only come up for a bit, and would leave by 10pm. I said OK.
The valet in my building said he would be leaving at 10pm, though, so the next valet wouldn't know to let Sportsguy park in my spot without charge...so this made me start thinking, he is going to need to be OUT BEFORE 10pm.
We entered the building, and walked up to my condo. He came in, and I offered him a water, and led him to sit out on the balcony. I don't even think I turned on my electric fireplace. I was only thinking that NOTHING physical was going to happen between us.
I brought out the book of birthdays, and showed him his, and he quickly read though it and said it was amazing. Then suddenly, for no apparent reason, I told him that he was going to have to leave...maybe just 15 or 20 minutes after we got there.
He left without trying to kiss me, but soon sent the following text:
I can't say it better than the actual text documents.
Anyway, that's the way it went!!
Tonight is another Happy Hour!!
Wish me luck!😂
I hope not!!
Twice in 1 month doesn't feel very good tho, to be sure.
The first guy seemed to be more of a misunderstanding...even tho he stood me up TWICE himself, we dated a couple more times.
However, when I went over what happened with the 2nd guy in my head,
I just kept coming back to the same conclusion:
this is more about him than me.
The first guy who stood me up wasn't nearly as interesting as this guy: we'll call him "Sportguy."
We connected on a dating app. No matter what people say against this form of meeting people, it works for some, so those of us who are single, who want to be in a relationship, need to be on one unless we are around new people regularly...which I am not.
Ok, so once we connected, and decide that we wanted to meet, we exchanged phone numbers. Now, I have been single for 9 years, and meet a lot of people thru business and dating, so I run my dating life the same as my business life. I keep notes on every meeting with pictures of my encounters, so I will remember.
So, with his first text, up came his picture, where we first encountered each other, and notes. We met on a different dating app 4 years ago, so it may have been shortly after I moved to South Beach. I remember. He did not, and I told him what my notes said. Every time I read those notes, I laugh. It is just too funny to relay.
Anyway, though, I remembered that night we didn't have much time to talk nor meet each other because nature called him into the bathroom abruptly that night for whatever reason. I noted that he text me right after bailing out on our date, and asked me if we could have sex on the next date, to which I'm sure I said NO, so I guess that is where the relationship ended.
Well, I decided to give him another chance. From his height of 6'2' and his pictures on the app, he appeared very clean cut and handsome, and for his profession, it said only "Sports," with a bachelors degree, my age, (1 year younger) AND he lives in Miami Beach like me!! He said he was at Whole Foods down the road from my house when we first text!! "How have I never met this guy?" I was thinking.
On the phone before we met, he wanted me to know that he lives with his son, so if things go really well, he wanted to make sure that we could come back to my place. He said he'd like to take me to the movies. I said that we could do that, but that really, I'd much rather do something outside in the evening before it is dark...like Happy Hour? I told him that I love Happy Hour...I told him that would be more my speed than sitting inside a dark theater before we even know each other...he agreed.
Sportsguy called me about an hour later just to say that he can't believe this, but he is really excited to see me tonight. He feels like this is going to be really special between us. He wanted me to confirm for him that I feel the really great chemistry between us. I told him, "yeah, it seems like it, but I won't know until we meet." It kinda seemed like he wanted me to confirm that he was gonna get laid tonight! Still, I put those feelings aside. I had been planning on this all day, and so I was going to give him another shot.
So, anyway, this is our date #2 (with 4 years spanning in between), but trying it again. Sportsguy said he was running late due to a conference call and asked for 15 more minutes to pick me up. Then he called me and said that I wouldn't believe this, but he had no HOT WATER. (I was thinking does he want me to invite him over to take a shower at my house???) I wasn't sure. But, it started sounding like it...I confirmed that he HAD water...it was just cold. I said just hop in quickly rinse off and hop out. He said, "But, I wanted to get really clean for you..." I said, "Look! You are a man!! Just get in and quickly take a shower, so you can come over here and get me."
Then, remembering that our 1st date, 4 years ago, he had been an HOUR late, I called and confirmed that he was coming...he said YES & he would've only done that for me...(take a cold shower.)
Sportsguy started right out touching me...my leg, my hands, which felt right, because we had such good chemistry. It really didn't feel like a new meeting, and he kept calling my attention to that...noted. Sportsguy kept saying how happy he was, and I was equally happy because I almost cancelled, as I thought I recollected a guy whom I'd met at Monty's, who resembles this guy, that I thought must be him, but didn't remember him being 6'2", with whom I'd had NO connection.
We almost went to Monty's, in fact, we were headed that way, but I told him that if we go there, there is a good chance that I will have a lot of friends there, which is fine, if he wants, but I'd kind of like to go somewhere else besides Monty's or Smith and Wollensky, where I will know people, and I can go when I'm alone...told him I also like the Bar at Prime 112, and won't probably know many more people there than the bartenders, but he said he was just there last night...again I was thinking: "How did I never meet this guy if he frequents Prime 112!?) Sportguy said he agreed then, because he knew I "wouldn't feel like kissing him if I knew a lot of people there." We did have good chemistry, so I agreed!!
We went somewhere where neither of us would know anyone...Espanola Way.
He parallel parked his nice newer BMW (I really don't know cars, but I recognize BMW, clean, & newer) As we walked down past the restaurants along the walking street, I told him of the last time I really spent any time there on New Year's Eve 2019 (see prior blog for that story!) I also noticed that he had the same model of Rolex watch in Man-size (bigger) that I also wear.
We found a restaurant that wasn't already full of people and he chose a table far away, out in front of the restaurant and on the walkable street, and asked if I'd like to sit beside him at the table. I said, "Yes! That is how I usually like to sit too...NEXT to my date...if I am INTO him. We talked and found we had more in common, and we were both born on the 21st day of the month...me in July, and him in August!! He is the oldest of 4 boys, and I am the oldest of 6 kids.
I told him about a book that I have at home about birth-days, which is surprisingly accurate.
We each had a glass of wine, and he ordered some cheese to share! Perfect start! Then, he confessed that he can't drink very much...MAYBE just one more glass, and then he'd like to just go back to my home and relax. Hmmmm....back to him possibly getting laid tonight, I noticed. I didn't want to mislead him, but the more this topic was coming up, the more he was repelling me...I said, that is great, but can we just go to another one of these restaurants that line the street to have another drink. I told him that it was still light out, and that I wasn't ready to go home yet, and I love to experience different locations when I go out.
It always reminds me of my first date with my ex-husband. He took me one place for appetizers, another for dinner, and another for dessert...well, it worked...I married him 9 months later at the age of 23.
He kept giving me little kisses, but it was starting to get a little annoying at this point. Here I was trying to get to know this guy, and he clearly had only one thing on his mind. We got up after our glass of wine, and he asked if I wanted to pack up the leftover cheese, and at first I said no, but then I remembered my empty refrigerator, and thought any food when I get up in the middle of the night is good food, but he agreed and said, "yeah, right! ... then when we get back to your place, if we get hungry then we can have something to eat." I think he even said something like "if WE get up in the middle of the night HUNGRY"...UGH, he clearly was ready to just end our date now, and take me home and ravish me.
Sportsguy was pouring it on strong: How we were a perfect match...he had been waiting so long to meet me...the "chemistry" between us was SO UNBELIEVABLE...so much that it was starting to sound fake, and I found myself starting to look for things about him that I DIDN'T LIKE!!
I noticed the way his untamed hair just kept flopping around. Sportsguy kept having to wipe it outa his eyes. (like a girl) I noticed when he got outa the car to open my door, when he first picked me up that his jeans were falling down. Now, I don't like this look when kids wear it. How is it going to look for me walking around with a "boyfriend" who can't keep up his jeans nor keep his hair outa his face? I did like his shoes. They looked like designer-somethings, but now I was wondering if they were a knock-off brand. I started looking at this guy like he was just a big mess....possibly.
Sportsguy played basketball throughout college, and now represented athletes, he said. I asked how many he represented. He didn't answer and instead said that he has less clients now, because he is more focused on quality over quantity...so now I am wondering if he has no money...maybe that is why we are eating and drinking so light. "How does a man who represents athletes get new clients?" I was wondering...Does he have just one client? How much would one client pay?? He also kept telling me that if his phone rings, it may be a client, so he will need to answer.
Walking to the 2nd restaurant, he walked past the final restaurant to the end of the street, and started walking in a dark unpopulated area...now I was wondering if he was going to attack me...what did he want from me? I asked him to return to Espanola Way, and he kept trying to lead me away. At one point gave me a big kiss on the lips, so I kissed back(quickly), so he could see how I kiss, but then I was like...let's get back to Espanola Way!! Then he started acting like he was going to walk back to the car, which I knew where he was going to want to go if we left.
Finally, he agreed to return to the closest restaurant to us, which I recommended. We went in and he ordered himself an Espresso Martini, which I told him is my drink of choice on the weekend first drink of the day ("you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning!" frequent South Beach quote) I hadn't had dinner, so I was still hungry...he said he wasn't, but told me to order whatever I wanted & then we shared a calamari appetizer.
After our one drink there and calamari app, he paid the check and said he was ready to get back to my place to watch a movie or something. But everything he said sounded like he was planning on the whole night together...including that he is very generous with women in the sack. (I've heard that before, and I'm not buying that one either!)
So on the short drive home, I was thinking: "what do I do??" I was remembering what my friend had warned me, "he just wants to get you in the sack, and then he will forget about you, and move on to the next one." Honestly, at this point, I wasn't even sure I was still attracted to him. He was going so over-board on telling me about how perfect and right I was for him that I was feeling like it was all just a ploy to get sex. I had stopped believing him.
But, what if I was wrong, I kept thinking. Maybe he is just really vocal and honest???
As we were pulling into the drive-way in front of my building, I told him that even tho it was just after 9pm, I was very tired, and didn't feel it would be right to have him up to my condo. Sportsguy started begging, promised that he would only come up for a bit, and would leave by 10pm. I said OK.
The valet in my building said he would be leaving at 10pm, though, so the next valet wouldn't know to let Sportsguy park in my spot without charge...so this made me start thinking, he is going to need to be OUT BEFORE 10pm.
We entered the building, and walked up to my condo. He came in, and I offered him a water, and led him to sit out on the balcony. I don't even think I turned on my electric fireplace. I was only thinking that NOTHING physical was going to happen between us.
I brought out the book of birthdays, and showed him his, and he quickly read though it and said it was amazing. Then suddenly, for no apparent reason, I told him that he was going to have to leave...maybe just 15 or 20 minutes after we got there.
He left without trying to kiss me, but soon sent the following text:
I woke up the next morning, trying to remember what got into me, and why I asked him so abruptly to leave. I felt like he said something to antagonize me, but couldn't remember what it was!!
So, I sent him a text apologizing, and he offered basically to give me another chance
,IF i could make him FORGET what I had done to make him feel so badly.
At one point during this correspondence he tried to call me, but I was working, and on the phone with a client, so wasn't able to answer his call.
Anyway, that's the way it went!!
Tonight is another Happy Hour!!
Wish me luck!😂
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