Alone or Together Forever...It Is Your Choice
Good morning, dear friends!
Well, I have safely moved to Coral Gables, Miami and I couldn’t be happier! My view is no longer the bay, but now it is of a pool and I’m just as happy!
Hoping my new car gets here this week, as I’m finding a great need for it with my new occupation in real estate, after living five years in South Beach, Miami without a car.
I am finding I am spending a lot more time alone, and quite enjoying it, after living so many years with four children and a husband that I always felt that I needed & wanted to care for and keep safe. Still, I’m not going to lie, last night as I watched the movie, “Shades of Grey,” on television in bed, I felt as though I’m missing out on something! 😂
I think what I could say that I’ve learned in my 11 years without a spouse is that there is never going to be the perfect person for you, and so we just have to be happy with ourselves. I recommend staying married to the parent of your children if life in solitude is not what you want, or can endure,
& if you are not easily accommodated by others.
I never wanted to be alone every day. I never wanted to be as independent as I have had to become.
(That's me last night, alone, after a day I was thankful to have alone at home working. Then, I walked out for a nice dinner by myself...don't mind the Siracha bottle on the table...does that make my picture "ghetto"!?)
I am grateful to have had the close wonderful family and supportive friends that I have & have had. The adventures that I’ve had have also been amazing. Though almost always, I have had a little part of me that felt that I was alone...not with a partner...because I am...and I was. I am so grateful for the many happy memories (17 years) that I spent together with my x-husband (we are still "friends") and 4 beautiful, smart grown daughters with their own lives.
Would I trade those to still be married to the father of my children?
As they say: "Hindsight is 20/20." I don't believe in ever going back. Things change, people change. We are both different people now having grown through our experiences. He is re-married to a wonderful woman, who has become a nice addition to our family.
However, I’m just recommending if you are in that situation right now, where you are wondering if a lifelong commitment is your "jam?" I am here to tell you to really think hard about it, because it’s no better on the other side, and while going out on your own might really sound like a great idea right now...
You will GROW through,
and you will cause a lot of pain for your whole family & yourself.
You might need to learn how to really enjoy being ALONE.
Because after your kids grow up...that may be what you are left with...JUST YOU.
Growing up, my mother always said to me:
"It is all about being happy with YOU.
You will run into the same problems with each partner you have in life."
Gratefully, I feel like I have a new lease on life and a new concentration recently.
Finding my soulmate, which had been my focus & dream for the past 11 years, has now developed into a focus of helping others to find the home and the lifestyle/investment that they desire.
It's always GOOD to have a focus on the OUTSIDE of YOURSELF.
I think this is a much more positive focus for me. Turns out it’s not so easy to find your soulmate or with regard to the many people who warn "it's when you are not looking that it (true love) will find you."
At this point I’m not even sure there is a soulmate out there for each of us.
Or if most of us just have to want to ADAPT to others if a life shared is what we desire.
At any rate, I'm just sharing the thoughts that I had this morning when I started this blog, and now I am finally completing it after a Sunday full of learning, reading & cooking.
Another thing that my mother said that her mother said:
"You always have to have a goal."
CHECK! NEW GOAL!!
Access Granted.
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