New Year New Me?

Happy Happy 2019!!

The last quarter of the year was a bit challenging.  Starting at Thanksgiving when a girlfriend that I reconnected with after about 25 years invited me to NYC to celebrate the holiday, and then ghosted me there for the entire weekend, but has since been in touch.  Although, that was a harsh reminder of why we lost the friendship.  However, my escape to NYC over Thanksgiving was meant to avoid spending the holiday alone, that fell on my x-husband's birthday this year, so understandingly, he wanted our daughters with him.  However, after my girlfriend arranged a free nice hotel room for me on 42nd and 2nd Street, she remained unavailable to spend time with me, until the last evening there, for a couple of hours.

I wrote that blog, but never printed it, out of respect to my friend, and not wanting to "out" anyone on their journey.  We are all a work in progress, and "can only do as well as we know how to do"...my mother always used to tell me.  Picture is of me, front and center at the Macy's Day Parade!  Check!

December rang in a new friendship group for me, when, after a year of messages and brief meetings,  I was invited to Carole Crist's (the former first lady of Florida) Holiday party on Fisher Island.  (We met last year, when she was at Ivanna Trump's Birthday party, the same day I was also at Smith and Wollensky for another friend's birthday.)  It was a small intimate gathering that I was privileged to be a part, as I really had never spent much time on the affluent Fisher Island, until recently, where cars and people need to be ferried to and fro.  Surprisingly I already knew a few of the guests there, but found everyone so warm and inviting.  It is really a whole 'other world over there!! They have a school and everything!

Customarily, I take the last 2 weeks of the month off work in December to reflect and re-charge for the coming year.  Yep, I'm not a fan of working Fridays full day nor December!  So, the year of 2018 was no different.

So, the third week of the month I spent reconnecting with local friends that I had lost touch with, and my daughters went to see their Dad's wife's family in Arkansas, but were meant to return Christmas Eve, so I went out and got a lot of food to celebrate Christmas with them, however, my daughter Caroline had to work, and my daughter, Tiffany got sick, so I took a lot of leftover food to a local party to celebrate Christmas, after my daughters Marlaina and Alexis returned home...feeling as though I was fighting an illness as well, which got me the day after Christmas...I couldn't get out of bed!

My daughter, Caroline brought me some meds and soup, which kept me down for a couple of days.

By the time New Year's Eve rolled around last night, I didn't have any real plans.  Then the day before, I met a nice handsome guy from NY, who invited me to celebrate with his friends, and family, who own the cigar bar on Espinola Way.  This sounded fantastic.  I rarely go to Espinola Way, so I thought I might meet a whole new group of people!

This group was really fun and interesting.  Mr. New York filled me in on everybody.  They sounded like a well-off Bronx family...with possible mob ties.  Or maybe the mob is after them...I'm not quite sure, but Mr. New York spoke with a serious NY accent.  He was very much a gentleman, and all of the people were so nice, especially his cousin, who he described as the "love of his life"..."she's always looking out for me.  Grew up with me, and even used to go on my dates with me."

He had described to me this group (family), where he said he would be the only single one, so it would be nice if I joined him.  We had a nice visit, food, good champagne, tequila, whatever we all wanted was at our fingertips, and even a guy doing card-tricks!

Then after the New Year's Celebration, the women left, leaving me with a group of men.  I was tired too, but Mr. New York urged me not to leave.  So he ordered me another tequila.  I was hoping this would give me energy.  He had been texting on his phone inside, so I followed him inside to use the restroom, and he stopped me...said he wanted to send my picture to someone, who asked him if there were any "girls here."  I went in to use the restroom and then came up behind him, and he was now texting:  "there is more better than that here."

So, he sent my picture to someone who apparently was NOT impressed, and this was my date's response?? "THERE IS MORE BETTER HERE??"
I couldn't believe that he had allowed me to see that.

I didn't know quite how to respond to that.

So, I thought, maybe I misunderstood.  I told him what I saw and that it bothered me.
He didn't seem to have any response.
So, then I thought: Oh my gosh!! I am correct!!
He isn't even trying to make an excuse!!

So, with that, I told him thank you and goodbye.
I ordered a couple of LYFT cars, which were going to take entirely too long to get there, so I just ended up walking the 20 minute or so walk home.

As I walked home under the trees in the moonlight, through the park, passing people, I was thinking that there MUST have been some kind of misunderstanding.  All night he had been telling me how beautiful, and sexy I was.  I had been feeling so good about myself too.  But whatever the misunderstanding was, both he and I are just too strong at this point in our lives to explain ourselves or settle for it.  I was tired, I guess I took this as a reason that I could leave and go home to bed...maybe I had been looking for a reason?

When I got home I sent him this text:

When I woke in the morning, I realized that at like 2:30am he had called me.

So, that was that.

Could have been a better start to 2019.

But good news is:  it can only get better from here!!😂

Later, I heard from him again, and he wanted me to get together with them or just him again.  

He said he wanted a "do over."

Unfortunately, It wouldn't work out this visit because suddenly he had to go straight back to NY to tend to a "situation" that came up, but I have an open invitation to visit him.

Like I said, could have been a better start to my new year, but...

I am in a really good place.

Confident, I know what I bring to the table.

I am thrilled to be an independent adult, at my age, 

with my experience level, with what I've left behind,

and even more what is in front of me, yet to be experienced.

Forever a romantic, hopeful, and a true believer in magic.💘